Friday, December 29, 2006

Happy Birthday's are in order

Today is my sweet middle nephew's birthday. He is an old poop of 38 years today. Here is a picture when he was a kid, my little Teton (Stephen as said by his big brother) and his big brother Bruce.

This picture was taken of Steve this fall with his two son's, Garrett and Bryce.

Doll babies aren't they???

Well this Tuesday is my great niece Amanda's birthday also. (She is my nephew Bruce's oldest daughter). She will be sweet sixteen. I put this video/dvd together for her. I will give it to her tomorrow when we have the celebration party for the two of them.

Life is good isn't it. So much to be thankful for, and the new year just beginning.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Sisters :>)

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Avery and Amanda

Two sisters playing around. What a great picture this is. Amanda was told by her mother for years that her father did not love her, his family was no good and they didn't love her. Her mother told her that her sisters were not really her sisters, that her father had moved on by having another family.

But look how good life is... She is with her dad, learning to trust and love. Learning that she is loved. And most of all, learning to share her love with her two sisters.

This picture was taken this week at their mamaws house (my sisters home), where they are enjoying time away from baby sister, and getting spoiled rotten by mamaw and papaw. But even that's ok, that's what being a kid is all about.

Thank you God for answering prayers, for bringing this child back into our lives and filling our hearts to the brim. Thank you God, especially now at Christmas to unfolding this miracle for our family.

Merry Christmas to all!

Blessings, Auntie Lyn

Sunday, November 12, 2006


Amanda is home now. She has been with her daddy since the end of September. Life is somehow just how it should be now. Oddly enough, it seems as if she was never gone, as if she had been with the family all along. My heart is truly at peace that she is ok now, out of harms way. I pray that her mom somehow gets the help I think she desperately needs to find peace in herself, and I pray that she and Amanda can somehow forge some sort of friendship in the future, and forgive past hurts. Grudges never helped anyone, they only bring you more pain. I don't want that for our Amanda, she deserves more than that.

It amazes me and saddens me at the same time how mature she is for 15. Never really given the chance to be submerged in the innocence of childhood, being told that your father and his family did not love you, but had replaced you. How absolutely cruel of her mother to do this to her child, in the name of "love". But Amanda has come out on the other side whole, resilient, and a loving caring human being.

Avery and Amanda

Monday, September 11, 2006

Carl Asaro ...just one of 2,996... 9/11/01 to 9/11/06

~He was just one of the 2,996
innocent people who lost their life on September 11, 2001
~He was just one of the 343
innocent New York firefighters who laid down their life in the line of duty to save and protect
~He was just one of the 2,996
innocent people who died that day who was called husband, lover, friend, other half by the love of their life
~He was just one of the 2,996
innocent people who died that day worshipped and called ‘Daddy’ by precious children who thought the sun rose and set in his eyes
~He was just one of the 2,996
innocent people who died that day who had so many varied talents and dreams, which are now unfulfilled and put to rest

His name is

Carl Asaro

On September 11, 2001, at 8:47am Carl was just a 39 year old firefighter connected to the 9th Battalion, Engine 54 Ladder 4 unit of the FDNY located on 8th Ave. in mid town Manhattan. On September 11, 2001 at 8:48am everything for Carl and all those who loved him changed forever through no cause of their own.

recent picture of Carl's firehouse
with the dedication mural in place on the door

Carl was an ordinary guy, who did extraordinary things for a living. A firefighter since 1987, he was married to the love of his life, Heloiza. Together they and their 5 children, Philip and Carl Jr. (13 year old twins), Matthew (12), Rebecca (10) and Marc (7), lived a normal ordinary life in Wallkill, NY. Carl’s job and all those who worked beside him, was to run into a disaster instead of running away from it. Carl was just 1 of the 343 New York firefighter’s that day who gave their life just doing their job.

Carl was a Deadhead in the truest sense of the word, hosting a wake/barbeque in his backyard when it was announced that Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead had died in 1995. Inviting over 50 guests and decorating his yard and deck with T-shirts and memorabilia of the Grateful Dead he paid tribute to his hero. It is reported that Carl’s memorial service was held on Saturday, October 27, 2001 and that some of his Grateful Dead T-shirts and band paraphernalia was used to decorate his service. As a tribute to Carl and his love of music and the Grateful Dead, songs like “Touch of Gray” and “Friend of the Devil” were played at his service in his honor.

At the dedication of the Firefighter’s Memorial Park across the street from the midtown firehouse where Carl worked, his Battalion Chief Joe Nardone said, when speaking of Carl; “Not too tall but a giant in stature. A man of many interests.” Chief Nardone spoke of Carl’s love of music from Beethoven to the Dead. Carl played the guitar, piccolo, and piano, and he had an interest in acting. He had already starred in several non speaking roles in movies and on television, including “15 Minutes,” “The Siege,” and “Frequency.” He also played a paramedic on “The Sopranos,” “Law and Order” and “Third Watch.” He was looking forward to finally landing his first “speaking role”.

In volunteering to participate in this project, it drives home the fact that Carl was so much more than just one of 2,996 who died that day. Being a widow myself and painting this loss with my brush, my thoughts and prayers go out to Heloiza, Carl Jr., Philip, Matthew, Rebecca, Marc, and any and all of those who loved Carl. I pray that each of them is given a sense of peace that all is well with Carl, and that their journey in accepting his absence in their everyday life is balanced with the knowledge that he is forever with each and every one of them. Five years is nothing when you measure that loss with love.

Today I honor Carl Asaro, as well as each of the other 2,995 who lost their lives on 9/11.

close up of the mural on the firehouse door

I end this tribute with a copy of the Fireman’s Prayer...

When I am called to duty, God, whenever flames may rage;

Give me strength to save some life, whatever be its age.

Help me embrace a little child before it is too late;

Or save an older person from the horror of that fate.

Enable me to be alert, and hear the weakest shout,

And quickly and efficiently to put the fire out.

I want to fill my calling and to give the best in me;

To guard my every neighbor and protect his property.

And if, according to my fate I am to lose my life;

Please bless with Your protecting hand, my children and my wife.

~Author unknown

Photo courtesy of United In Memory 9-11 Victims Memorial Quilt™: A Legacy of Love

Please pay a visit to 2,996 and read your way thru the tributes to these innocent people who lost their life on September 11, 2001.


**because of bandwidth problems, the links to the list of particpants and tributes is directed to a mirror site. You can also make use of the blogroll in my sidebar. **

Sunday, August 27, 2006

20 questions...

Found this little Meme questionnaire over at Patrick's Place (who got it from Paul's "Aurora Walking Vacation) and it got me to thinking. There is more to question 3 for me, but it's going to take some time for me to get my thoughts in order. It looks like a future post for me.

1. A month before it happens you're told you're going to lose your memory. How do you prepare for it and do you attempt to regain what you've lost?

First I would record on video, tapes, CD's all the memories I could come up with, and then hit the picture albums and date and identify each picture. Next, I would make a video tape for myself where I would explain what has happened, and where to go look in the albums and tapes and it would all be explained. I would leave a message/note for my self to play the first video and go from there each day. Sort of like the concept in the movie '50 First Dates'.

2. How do you describe your outlook on life?

All things happen for a reason, although I might not understand it, nor like it, at that particular moment.

3. You fall in love with your soulmate, decide to get married, and then find out that person is going to die soon. Do you marry them anyway?

Oh my God, Yes! I can't imagine not marrying Bob and having the time we had together just because I was afraid he would not live a full life. When we married I was told that his life expectancy was diminished due to his injury, but soon forgot all the predictions. We lived what we had to the fullest and each and every moment was cherished and enjoyed. When he passed we were 3 months shy of our 21st anniversary.

4. What are three of your favorite ice cream toppings?

Not a big fan of ice cream, but I would think caramel; 2.peaches or nectarines; or 3.crushed heath bars would make a good topping on vanilla ice cream.

5. Is there one article of clothing you love to wear no matter how out of style it is?

I am way beyond thinking or worrying about style, I have things that I have worn for years. When I find something that fits and I like it, I tend to buy 2 or 3 in different colors, etc.

6. Is there one color you wish would go away in fashion?

Drab olive green. Not too many can pull that color off, I definitely can't.

7. What's the first department you head to when you go shopping in a department store?

Shoes and purses.

8.How far away do you live from your parents?

Six miles.

9. Growing up, who was your favorite cartoon character?

Sylvester and Tweety Bird.

I was also partial to Popeye and Olive Oyl.

10. You plan a romantic evening and everything goes wrong, including the fancy dinner you burned. What do you do?

Chuck it all in the garbage and have dessert twice.

11. What's the last thing you bought at the store?

Some groceries for my mom and dad.

12. Have you ever walked out in the middle of a movie?

No. Seldom go to the movies, tend to wait until they are on DVD and watch them at home.

13. What celebrity do most people say you look like?

It used to be Patti Duke when I was way younger, but lately I have been letting this old gray hair grow out, and I have been told I look like Tyne Daley.

14. Is there any piece of jewelry you always wear?

Yes, a necklace my husband gave me on our 10th anniversary, my 2 sets of earrings, and an antique ring my grandfather gave my mom on her 16th birthday.

15. Have you ever tried to pick someone up?

No, I'm not that strong, but I can prevent them from falling too hard. ;o)

16. What's the one thing you always manage to lose on your way out the door?

I forget my water jug and always have to go back and get it.

17. Out of these creatures which one are you most afraid of:
A.) Snakes B.) Spiders or C.) Rodents

Snakes, too hard for me to decide if they are good to have around or not, so I just want them all gone!

18. What's the last gift you bought for a friend?

Bought a fax machine for my mom.

19. Do you ever buy people things for no reason?

Usually. I don't normally buy for birthdays, or anniversaries. I prefer to pick things up when I see something I know someone would like and give the gift as a surprise.

20.What's your favorite way to spend a lazy summer afternoon?

Hanging around the house, listening to the box or playing on the computer.

Well, that's it for now. I can't believe I've done another post so soon. I have been working on my post for the 2,996 project. If you don't know what I'm talking about, sashay your way over to take a look.

As of the last post today, there are 103 names who have not been taken as of yet. Please, let's not let anyone go unaccounted for in this project. If you can find it in your heart to write a tribute to one of the victims of 9/11, just go to the sign up now button and a name will be assigned to you and the means to look this person up and create a memorial to their life.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Hi Sweetie, you've been missed!

My oldest grand niece is almost home with us now. Amanda is my oldest nephew's daughter by his first marriage. She has been out of our lives for over 4 years now. Not because that is what we wanted, but because her mother was more interested in punishing my nephew and his family than seeing to her daughter's well being.

Late June, early July there was a falling out between daughter and mother, and daddy was called to :"Please come and help me!": Daddy went, and arranged for
Amanda to go to maternal grandmother's home. Finally a visit was arranged for Amanda to visit at Dad's house and be with her 2 half sisters and her step-mom. Bridges were mended, slights were forgiven, and trust was formed. The 'weekend' visit turned into 9 days, and when it was time to leave she was wanting to live with her daddy. Her mom has not attempted to talk to her or to my nephew, or even to her own mother. Amanda does not want to see or talk to her mom yet. My nephew has been calling his X but has not recieved a call back as of yet. He talks to Amanda every day, several times a day. He tells her to be patient, that things must be done legally and safely for her. Soon she will be back home with us, God is so good.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

63 years together

63 years ago today.
They said I do, they did and they meant it.

My parents as they were 7.8.1943.
Mom was just 17, would turn 18 in September, and Daddy was 21.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Pickler at her finest

I just can't pass this one by. When I stop and think of all the things I miss out on by working and having to go to bed early, this was a moment for sure. Check out this Video of Kellie Pickler on the Jay Leno show. She was a red carpet interviewer for the JLShow. She is definitely in her element here! Much thanks go out to hael who uploaded the video to GoFish. Doesn't take much to entertain me I guess ;o)

Apologies, the video was removed by hael apparently. It was really a hoot tho.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Day Without Immigrants

"In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language... and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

Theodore Roosevelt 1907

I received this in an email today, and I must admit, it makes sense to me. I haven't been too sure of my feelings regarding the "Day Without Immigrants" but this quote from President Theodore Roosevelt kind of firmed up my thoughts this evening. If there were in reality to be such a day, most of us would not have gone into work today, as most of us are here from immigrants. My family on my father's side immigrated here from Germany in the early 1800's, and my mom's side immigrated here from Acadia Canada, arriving there from France. Much pride was given to becoming a United States citizen and the work that it took to accomplish it according to family lore. My own father in law became a naturalized citizen from New Brunswick, Canada, and was proud of his enlistment in the United States Army in 1946.

Do I think that those who are not natural born citizens here deserve less than those that are???? NO! Do I think that because you have come here by cutting red tape and squeaking by that you deserve the same rights as those who are here legally??? NO! I am sorry that the wheels of becoming a citizen of this great country turn so slow, but I do believe in following the rules. Should we make it easier to become a citizen? Maybe yes, but probably no. I agree with President Roosevelt in that once you decide to become a citizen, you owe your allegiance to this country first and foremost. If you cannot do that, then think twice. Maybe the loops and turns are in place to give you that chance to make sure this is what you really want. Did I notice a difference in my town that had a huge march today??? No, all it did was make me think that for those who are living here illegally need to do what they can to turn things in the direction they want to move in. Become a legal US citizen with the rights and privileges that go along with that honor. Receive your educations, vote in our elections, make the changes that are necessary to make this a better country to be part of. Hell if you want, run for office and make the changes yourself. But if you're not interested in doing it legally, then leave until you are ready to make a change.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Hold the Horses! What??? An actual post from me?

I am feeling the need to get into the swim of things again. I tend to get down easily and let things get to me, and then begin to feel that I have nothing to contribute. So much good has happened since Christmas, and I haven't made note of any of it.

Work has drastically changed, with the resigning of many of our therapists, including our director and assistant director. I can only hope that this change will be for the better eventually. Of course, being who I am I will stick it out until the end. I wonder what made me so terrified of change? I'm busier than I like to be, would really like to only see 4 patients a day, then have the rest of the time to myself, but... I do what I need to. One consolation, the paycheck looks decent! Hopefully I will get a chance to take some time off this year and enjoy something other than work.

We've had several birthdays in the family since December. Brother/law and great niece and great nephew all celebrated on Valentines day. Bruce was 68, sweet Megan turned 4, and my precious pumpkin Bryce turned the BIG 1.
Here is a pic of the three of them.
Oh, how they love their Papaw!

Couldn't let this post go by without a picture of Bryce and his birthday cake!
As you can tell from the picture, he loved it. He had icing up his nose, in his ears and was more than willing to share with anyone who came close enough. This Auntie knew enough to keep her distance.

My sister just had some hernia surgery this past Monday, this was the third time. She came through it without any complications, and the doctor repaired one rather large new hernia above the umbilical area, and re-repaired a small one just below. He put in a large piece of mesh to hopefully keep this from happening again. She and I have been going to Curves 3 days a week. I offered to join with her last fall to give us some time together and support her in her exercise, but now she won't be able to go for at least 5-6 weeks. I thought I would probably skip out on the exercise, but when Monday came, I felt guilty about not going and dragged my butt there after work. I do enjoy the work outs, and feel better doing them. I guess I do it for myself more than I thought I did.

We had Easter at my mom and dad's this year. The whole family was there. The kids all swam their little hearts out, hunted eggs and ate candy till their parents finally came to what was going on. Dinner was great, but the company was even better. Tonight we are going into DiAnna's for cards after dinner. We will meet at Vincent's, a very nice Italian restaurant and then go out to DiAnna and Bruce's. She didn't think she wanted to do much riding around in the car, can't say that I blame her.

Well, will close this now, and post more when I can. Need to get this house picked up and get ready to go out.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Pam Hilger (his1desire)

I join with all those in J-land who are mourning the passing of our dear friend Pam, of "
Just One Girl's Head Noise". Pam was a founding force in AOL's blogging experience, who reached out to everyone in J-land with a helping hand. Pam was diagnosed with extensive lung cancer in June 05 and shared her journey with us, including her stopping smoking and the hopes and dreams that came with her journey.

Yesterday, Easter Sunday, Pam lost her fight with cancer, but she in no way lost the battle. I admired her strength, her courage in sharing, and her determination in living life on her terms. The sky will be a little brighter tonight, the earth will sigh with the loss.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all those who loved her and will miss her presence on this earth.

addendum: 1/5/07 Just wandered over to Pam's journal and noticed that all her pictures had been removed somehow. Just the dreaded little box with the red X. I wanted the world to remember her, and thankfully I had downloaded a picture to my computer. So I added it back to my post here. Rest well Pam, you are remembered as we pass into this new year.

Friday, January 13, 2006

8th grade student had pellet gun, on Advanced Life Support - Seminole County News

Here's the news from around me today. The last alert states that Chris is on advanced life support in extremely critical condition, and the prognosis to survive is very poor. My heart and prayers go out to Chris, his family and all who love this child.

My thoughts and prayers also go out to Lt. Mike Weippert and all who love him. I can't imagine what he is going thru, knowing now that the gun was a pellet gun, that had been modified to look like a 9mm semi-automatic handgun. What is this world coming to? When did bringing a gun to school, even a play gun, become the fix of all problems.


Monday, January 02, 2006

Not a good start so far

I have decided that if this is how the new year is going to be, I'm calling in sick.

I received horrible news today about an old patient and her husband. I had treated P for years and years, on and off, and had not heard from her in almost a year. I knew she came out of the hospital last spring and needed therapy, but I was swamped and another therapist took her case. I kept meaning to call her and her husband, but with all the stuff that went on with Sadie, and then the hole I fell into following her death, I just never did. This Christmas, I kept thinking that I would get my annual Christmas letter from J, her husband, but it didn't come. I noticed I didn't see his screen name on my buddy list since around Thanksgiving. Today while out seeing patients, I thought I am not going to let one more day go by without stopping in to see her and J.

Pulled up and rang the doorbell. Noted his cute little sign on the door ... "Ring the bell on the right, and hold your horses. 2 old farts live here and it takes us a while to get moving."

I waited, as I know it's their habit to lie down in the afternoon and rest. I figured he might just be getting P settled in. After 2 more rings of the bell, I peeked in the window way up in the door, and noticed the freezer door ajar in the kitchen, and no lights on as there normally were. Decided to go thru the back gate to the bedroom window, and see if I could get their attention. The blinds were pulled all the way up, and a bedroom light was on, but the beds were totally stripped and in disarray. P slept in a hosp bed, and J bought an adjustable bed and linked them to each other so they would be together. As I looked in the window, I couldn't figure out what was going on. Then I noticed P's walker on the back porch, and one of the wheelchairs. As I was leaving the back yard, I decided to look in the garage. Sure enough there was J's minivan. I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, thinking something had maybe happened to J and P was sent to a nursing home or something.

I went to the next door neighbors to see what was going on. The neighbor came to the door, and she said I saw you over there and wondered if you would come over here. I explained who I was, and she said "I remember you from when you saw P last year when J was so sick." I said, what is going on, P isn't there. Is she alright? She said, "Oh my God, I thought you knew. J and P committed suicide about 3½ weeks ago."

You could have knocked me over with a feather. The shock, the thought of their despair to end their lives like that. I have no idea of what happened other than the neighbor said when she let hazmet into the house, there was a lot of blood in the bedroom. No one has ever said what happened other than J put a hole thru the concrete wall that separated the bedroom from the garage and fed a hose thru the hole and turned the car on. They had 2 children who lived on the other coast who rarely visited. I know that J's medical crisis last year(04) put them in a horrible financial bind. P has been disabled for years (I had seen her on and off for 9 years for therapy), and J was her primary caregiver. I can only imagine that J felt that P could not survive without him, and he might have shot her then went to sleep with the carbon monoxide.

On the 7th of December, the home health assistant showed up late that morning as was planned, and she found a note on the door. The neighbor explained to me, "J had put on the note... N by the time you get here, P and I will be gone." The assistant went to the next door neighbors with the note. The neighbor said she had a bad feeling and called 911 before even going over to the house. They waited for rescue to get there before going into the home. She opened the door for rescue, and they prevented her from coming into the home, as the odor of carbon monoxide permeated the house. One firefighter went in suited up and when he came back out, he confirmed that both P and J were deceased in their beds. They called hazmet and hazmet cleared the home of gas. Neighbor states, when hazmet finished, the bodies were removed, and they requested that the neighbor go over with them to lock up the house until P's family could arrive. That is when she saw all the blood on P's bed.

P and J were in their late 70's, he might have been 80 by now. I hope they are finally at peace. It scares me the desperation that they must have felt, the internal pain. I wish I had been there more for them. I wish I had called when I first felt that urging back at Thanksgiving. Not that it would have necessarily made a difference, but it might have helped to know that I could be there for them. All the if's that will never be answered. I pray that they did not suffer pain, or fear.

A special passage for me from Micah 7:8
Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light unto me.

P and J are surrounded by that light now. Good night dear friends.