Last Friday when I went to visit with S, she expressed the desire to visit her son's grave. She hadn't been there since becoming ill, and having to move to an assisted living facility. That means it has been at least 9 years. Add to the mix that she is blind in one eye and almost blind in the other. I had to work today, so I told her that I would be by to get her on Sunday afternoon and we would go to the cemetery to do what we could.
I arrived at the nursing home at 1:30, and we left there about 2pm. The cemetery is quite a distance away from where S is residing now. Finally got there about 2:45, and followed her instructions as best as she could remember them. She kept saying there is a curve as we pull in, and I would stop on the curve. There is a mausoleum and his grave is fairly close to it, to the right side. I got her in her wheelchair and off we went. We searched everything in that area, until S was beginning to get upset. I finally took her back to the car, left her there and went to the office. Thankfully, there was someone there on a Sunday afternoon. He looked D up on their computer, and then proceeded to try to find it on a map. Couldn't locate the grave. None of his maps showed where it was. D passed away in May of 1985, and I find it hard to believe they have lost him.
The person from the office drove us around where we thought it was in his golf cart, but no luck. S was getting more and more upset and nervous. He finally let us off at my car, and went back to the office to meet some people there. I looked a little more, and as we began to leave, he came back up, and directed me to another area, across from where we had originally searched. I left S in the air conditioning of the car, and did another search of that area, but failed to find D's grave.
I called the cemetery this morning, but there was no one in the office. I told S that I would call them, and have someone actually find the grave and stone, then mark it on a map for me, and mail it to me. Then she and I would make another trip for her to visit him, and lay flowers for him. I cannot imagine what it must be like for her, to have buried her only child, and not be able to go to his grave when she wanted to.
lab2401 at 9:47:00 PM EDT Link to this entry