Here is #3 of weekend assignments from John Scalzi, and I never did get #2 completed . Oh well, for week #3 we are to discuss "Bad Advice".
The worst advice I have ever been given: Probably the worst advice that I was given was when Bob and I were trying to adopt a child. We had been waiting over 3 years for a baby to come our way, when we began having a difficult time with money/business. It was decided to move from that state to my home state where we each had better chances for jobs. The business was left with Bob's sister and mom to run until it was sold. I was very torn about leaving at the time, as I felt we were so close to getting a baby and would be passing up my chance. Mrs. G. at the adoption agency said, "Don't worry about it, you do what you have to. When you get to where you're going and get yourselves settled, contact our sister agency there and tell them how far you were here, that you have paid your fees and that you had been evaluated and was found to be competent family material. I will send a letter if need be or speak to whom ever." So we moved, and we both had jobs after 2 weeks, and 2 months later we were purchasing a VA repossesed home with minimal down payment needed. Once we were in the home 3 months, I contacted the adoption agency here and told them the story. I offered to contact Mrs. G and have them speak with her. Their response... sorry, none of that matters, you start at the bottom just like anyone else in this state. It doesn't matter how long you have been waiting, or how much you paid, if you were evaluated or not. Besides, there is at least a 5plus year wait, and the cost here in this state is 12,000 to 17,000 dollars. My heart had told me to wait, but I trusted the advice that I got from Mrs. G.
The worst advice that I have given: When my niece came to me and my husband asking our advice about marrying her boyfriend, I told her to do what her heart was telling her. I did not tell her what I was really thinking, believing that she would figure it all out at her young age of 19. (I did not think he was good for her, and he would bring alot of baggage along from his family, and I felt that they were both too immature at the time.) I should have realized that her youngheart was full of hope that she could change him into what she was looking for, and that her life would be "happily ever after", which it wasn't. Less than 18 months later she was divorced from him, thinking that she had somehow failed. I regret that I did not speak my mind up front, and give her better advice to look at all the angles including his family life, and then support her in her decision.
Just for the fun of it, one of the best pieces of advice that I have ever been given:
From my grandma when I decided I wanted to go into Physical Therapy: "Lynda, not everyone is going to like you, and you're not going to like everyone, so just get over it and move along!" I take that with me when I meet each and every person, and I must admit, it relieves the pressure.
lab2401 at 12:55:00 AM EDT Link to this entry
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