Tuesday, August 3, 2004
poor delusional walter
Walter, Walter, Walter, you poor delusional creature. Hoot! You don't even know what you are, do you? And to think, you are writing in a journal giving all sorts of advice and stuff? Such a pity.
Hoot! Hoot!
To think that you try to match wits with me, a wise old screech owl. Hoot! I think you've had your head in that great big white water dish too long! Hoot! I did notice that your mom combed your hair back to show you had eyes finally. (I must admit you have a cute little nose tho.) Leave it to an old dog to go out and try to get council rather than chewing the fat. Or did your mommy do that for you?
Hoot! Now as far as my pooping on the birthday cake... that would probably suit you just fine. It's your type (the DOG type) that goes around sniffing butts and eating poop. Hoot! I saw one of your doggy kind get in the litter box of Auntie Lyn's kitty, and eat up all she could before Auntie Lyn got there. That's just like an old dog, ya know. Hoot!
And about these points you made in your reply to me....
Here are my answers to you.
1.) Sniffing butt.
Hey Mr. Owl, do you even have a butt? And we know what you eat. You're just jealous cause nobody would want to sniff your butt even if you had one. So there. And I do too have eyes.
Hoot! Of course I have a butt, but I have enough sense of decourm to keep it tucked out of sight under my tail feathers. Only my Mrs. gets to see or smell my butt. We in the aviary community are not like some mangy ole mutts holding our tail straight up for all to come by and see and smell their butt. Also, we are monogamous, we mate for life, not like the old dog who sleeps with any ole thang that comes into heat!
2.) Fleas
When was the last time you saw a bunch of owls at camp writing home to thank ma and pa for the flea stuff? Huh? That's right. Nobody sells fancy stuff for OWLS! Rats have fleas. You eat rats. You poop fleas.
Hoot! That's right, no one has to buy expensive products to put on me. Why would you want to get rid of something that tastes so good? Hoot! Fleas are sort of an 'Aviary Caviar'. Hoot! It's a delicacy, an aquired taste if you must. Hoot! And as far as the rats, what a service we do for the homeowners, keeping their cost down on pest control...
3.) Journals
If owls are so danged wise, why can't they type? Answer that one wiseguy. And us Havs KNOW it takes more than three licks to get to the center of the sucker. So there.
Sucker, smucker! Hoot! Whoo cares about that sweet stuff. It just melts down those few brain cells that you have up there in that hollow thing you call a head. And as far as typing in a journal, we don't have to do that, we just use AOL by phone! So there Walter! Hoot! Hoot!
4.) I am a Hav
I AM NOT EITHER A DOG. Quit calling me that! I want a dog though, but my mom won't get me one. QUIT CALLING ME A DOG. Mom, he's callin' me a dog.
What in God's green earth is a Hav anyway? the other half of a have not??? You know, it doesn't matter how you spell it Walter, if it looks like a dog, smells like a dog, and sniffs butt like a dog, a DOG it surely is.
Be sure and watch out for swooping birds!
Your Wise Uncle Owl
(see this face and be afraid!)
PS: Oh, and one other thing...
Tell that uppity lawyer of yoursto talk to the hand!
Ain't no court in the animal kingdom and you know that! Before it's over she will be laughed into the pro-boneo poor house! Hoot, I will make sure that no owl goes near her place and she will be overrun with rats, snakes, gophers and other nuisance critters! After all, we all know some pretty good lawyer jokes now don't we?...
Did you ever hear the one about the good lawyer? I didn't think so... Hoot..Hoot..Hoot!
Whoops, I hear Auntie Lyn coming into the garage. I must get off this phone before I'm caught! She thinks I need to apologize to you, and join a 12 step program to be nice to the dimmer-witted, but I just can't see that happening any time soon. Back at cha Walter!
lab2401 at 9:32:00 PM EDT Link to this entry
poor delusional walter
Ecstatic
Walter, Walter, Walter, you poor delusional creature. Hoot! You don't even know what you are, do you? And to think, you are writing in a journal giving all sorts of advice and stuff? Such a pity.
Hoot! Hoot!
To think that you try to match wits with me, a wise old screech owl. Hoot! I think you've had your head in that great big white water dish too long! Hoot! I did notice that your mom combed your hair back to show you had eyes finally. (I must admit you have a cute little nose tho.) Leave it to an old dog to go out and try to get council rather than chewing the fat. Or did your mommy do that for you?
Hoot! Now as far as my pooping on the birthday cake... that would probably suit you just fine. It's your type (the DOG type) that goes around sniffing butts and eating poop. Hoot! I saw one of your doggy kind get in the litter box of Auntie Lyn's kitty, and eat up all she could before Auntie Lyn got there. That's just like an old dog, ya know. Hoot!
And about these points you made in your reply to me....
Here are my answers to you.
1.) Sniffing butt.
Hey Mr. Owl, do you even have a butt? And we know what you eat. You're just jealous cause nobody would want to sniff your butt even if you had one. So there. And I do too have eyes.
Hoot! Of course I have a butt, but I have enough sense of decourm to keep it tucked out of sight under my tail feathers. Only my Mrs. gets to see or smell my butt. We in the aviary community are not like some mangy ole mutts holding our tail straight up for all to come by and see and smell their butt. Also, we are monogamous, we mate for life, not like the old dog who sleeps with any ole thang that comes into heat!
2.) Fleas
When was the last time you saw a bunch of owls at camp writing home to thank ma and pa for the flea stuff? Huh? That's right. Nobody sells fancy stuff for OWLS! Rats have fleas. You eat rats. You poop fleas.
Hoot! That's right, no one has to buy expensive products to put on me. Why would you want to get rid of something that tastes so good? Hoot! Fleas are sort of an 'Aviary Caviar'. Hoot! It's a delicacy, an aquired taste if you must. Hoot! And as far as the rats, what a service we do for the homeowners, keeping their cost down on pest control...
3.) Journals
If owls are so danged wise, why can't they type? Answer that one wiseguy. And us Havs KNOW it takes more than three licks to get to the center of the sucker. So there.
Sucker, smucker! Hoot! Whoo cares about that sweet stuff. It just melts down those few brain cells that you have up there in that hollow thing you call a head. And as far as typing in a journal, we don't have to do that, we just use AOL by phone! So there Walter! Hoot! Hoot!
4.) I am a Hav
I AM NOT EITHER A DOG. Quit calling me that! I want a dog though, but my mom won't get me one. QUIT CALLING ME A DOG. Mom, he's callin' me a dog.
So Walter the Wonderdog! Hoot! Stand up on those four legs and admit who you are! Quit living in the land of De-Nile. Who do you think you are, Cleopatra????
See ya round the block, Walter the wonderdog!
Be sure and watch out for swooping birds!
Your Wise Uncle Owl
(see this face and be afraid!)
PS: Oh, and one other thing...
Tell that uppity lawyer of yoursto talk to the hand!
Ain't no court in the animal kingdom and you know that! Before it's over she will be laughed into the pro-boneo poor house! Hoot, I will make sure that no owl goes near her place and she will be overrun with rats, snakes, gophers and other nuisance critters! After all, we all know some pretty good lawyer jokes now don't we?...
Did you ever hear the one about the good lawyer? I didn't think so... Hoot..Hoot..Hoot!
Whoops, I hear Auntie Lyn coming into the garage. I must get off this phone before I'm caught! She thinks I need to apologize to you, and join a 12 step program to be nice to the dimmer-witted, but I just can't see that happening any time soon. Back at cha Walter!
lab2401 at 9:32:00 PM EDT Link to this entry
Dear Wise One, I just read from Walter (via his Mom's journal) that you two are now forever friends. Walter and I have made our peace with each other....let's make that peace spread all around and all of us enjoy this anniversary and all of us participate in it. This anniversary isn't just for the homo sapien bloggers. Because it's very evident how many wonderful non homo sapiens are in the JLand community members households.
Dear Wise One, I'd love it if you'd share some of your wisdom with the community by writing something for the festivities that will be featured in the Special Edition Anniversary Blog? Do you think that could be a project you and Auntie Lynn could work on together?
Please let me know.
Vivian (old but not as wise as you)
Vivian
Comment from viviansullinwank - 8/5/04 10:53 AM
Dear Wise One, I'd love it if you'd share some of your wisdom with the community by writing something for the festivities that will be featured in the Special Edition Anniversary Blog? Do you think that could be a project you and Auntie Lynn could work on together?
Please let me know.
Vivian (old but not as wise as you)
Vivian
Comment from viviansullinwank - 8/5/04 10:53 AM
OMG, SHARON, HILARIOUS..........AND SOUNDS SO SO LIKE THE JOURNAL BOARD, LOL. WHERE ON EARTH DID THIS COME FROM, LOL?? TTYS. REGINA
http://journals.aol.com/wumzels2/SEDUCTIONOFLIFE
Comment from wumzels2 - 8/5/04 1:26 AM
http://journals.aol.com/wumze
Comment from wumzels2 - 8/5/04 1:26 AM
"not like the old dog who sleeps with any ole thang that comes into heat!"
I beg your pardon, Sir, but I WILL NOT allow you to cast aspersions upon my character nor upon my wife. Be advised I have retained the services of Dewey, Cheatum & Howe, Attorneys at Law of the great City of Boston, Massachusetts, to sue every feather you have off your tired old carcass until there won't be a single lick of white meat on your bones, bird!
That'll learn you to mess with mongrels!
Comment from olddog299 - 8/4/04 12:33 PM
I beg your pardon, Sir, but I WILL NOT allow you to cast aspersions upon my character nor upon my wife. Be advised I have retained the services of Dewey, Cheatum & Howe, Attorneys at Law of the great City of Boston, Massachusetts, to sue every feather you have off your tired old carcass until there won't be a single lick of white meat on your bones, bird!
That'll learn you to mess with mongrels!
Comment from olddog299 - 8/4/04 12:33 PM
Can you, Walter, say Judge Judy and Uncle Owl, I am sure you can say Judge Judy...oh what a case this would be. It would go down in J-Land history. Televised for the world to see.
I hope someone can shed, uhmm, some light (I did not say fur) on this situation. Let the feathers, I mean, fleas, I mean....let something fall wherever it may!
I am pulling for both of you. May the best, uhmmm, creature win.
This is a HOOT, :)
Sharon
Comment from spurgins311 - 8/4/04 1:46 AM
I hope someone can shed, uhmm, some light (I did not say fur) on this situation. Let the feathers, I mean, fleas, I mean....let something fall wherever it may!
I am pulling for both of you. May the best, uhmmm, creature win.
This is a HOOT, :)
Sharon
Comment from spurgins311 - 8/4/04 1:46 AM
Hehe that was cute! *misty*
http://journals.aol.com/faygodaze07/FallingDown/
Comment from faygodaze07 - 8/4/04 12:18 AM
http://journals.aol.com/faygo
Comment from faygodaze07 - 8/4/04 12:18 AM
Hey!! No jury tampering!!!
http://journals.aol.com/xzasporated1/RandomRamblings/entries/1155
~~ walter's mom, jennifer
walter is just too distressed to write for himself. HOOOO is to blame???
Comment from xzasporated1 - 8/4/04 12:03 AM
http://journals.aol.com/xzasp
~~ walter's mom, jennifer
walter is just too distressed to write for himself. HOOOO is to blame???
Comment from xzasporated1 - 8/4/04 12:03 AM
Dear Uncle Owl,
http://journals.aol.com/pollysci/randomness/entries/647
Send my regards to your sweet Aunt Lyn--you should listen to her more often. =D
~tara :)
Comment from pollysci - 8/3/04 11:48 PM
http://journals.aol.com/polly
Send my regards to your sweet Aunt Lyn--you should listen to her more often. =D
~tara :)
Comment from pollysci - 8/3/04 11:48 PM
Comment from readmereadyou - 8/3/04 9:45 PM
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