Patrick's Saturday 6

Sweet Dreams

1. Have you ever had a dream that you felt was a message from some "higher power?" Do you think it's possible to receive such messages through dreams?

I have had some pretty wild and vivid dreams since Bob died. Do I think that they were from some higher power? I'm not sure. I think they were what I call, "wishful dreaming". I can remember one in particular that happened near the 5th anniversary of Bob's death, in which I was chasing him all over a small town, with hills and valleys and there were huge traffic jams. He was in a small yellow convertible and when I would just get up to him, he would vanish around a corner. I remember how frustrated I was getting as I had chased him all day. I finally caught up with him on a ferry, and after I got in the car, he reached over and held my hand without looking at me. Then he said, "as much as I love you, I have to go". Prior to that dream, I was beating myself up that I wasn't further along in my grief journey than I was. I kept telling myself that I was holding on to him too much, and couldn't let him go. So, was this dream from a "higher power" or guilt? Who's to say.

2. How much does a person's musical preference tell you about them?

I don't think musical preference tells you anything about a person. Most people would be shocked by the music I listen to, never thinking that I would be a fan. I do think that if a person likes music or not tells you something about them. To me a person that listens and enjoys music is someone who can think for themselves, with imagination.

3. What time did you get up Friday morning? Were you part of the shopping madness?

Friday morning I was up at 5:30am. No shopping for me, it was work as usual.

4. Take this quiz: What religion do you fit in with?

Your ideals mostly resemble those of the Taoist faith. Spirituality is the most important thing in your life. You strive to live by all of your ideals, and live a very intellectually focused life.

80% spiritual.
20% reason-oriented.

5. Is the answer you received the religion you feel you really do fit in with?

Yes. Although I am not sure about the Taoist faith, I may just have to look into that more.

6. READER'S CHOICE QUESTION #77 from Globetrotter2: Do you have any special nicknames for your significant other when you're annoyed or irritated with them? If so, give us a few of them (NO PROFANITY, please).

Although I have no significant other at this time, I had a few choice names for Bob when he was alive. DipSh-t, Sh-t for brains are a few of the nicer ones.

Cutting Ties

Cutting Ties...

it's a hard concept for me to accept...
a hard task for me to accomplish.

I called the 800-827-3338 phone number for AOL help, and when you say the words "cancel my membership" you are directed rather quickly to a human voice. I spoke with Jimmy, who was very polite, and wanted to know if there was any way he could help me reconsider? And no, he was not aware that the journal part of AOL had included flashing ad's on our private paid for monthly journals. Could I please describe how I felt that could be enough to cancel my subscription to AOL. When I ran through my rant on AOL and it's lack of customer *SERVICE* Jimmy said that he was sorry I felt that way, but he could take care of the cancellation immediately. My AOL is officially ending on 12/3. I then called my cable company and was immediately connected to road runner for the same amount of money. I had been using Outlook Express for mail with my AOL for the past month or so, and prior to that used AOL Communicator for 2 years. I normally use Firefox for my browser as I like it better anyway. I can create an AIM account for myself, and stay in contact with my AOL buddies that way. I joined PLAXO last week in anticipation of notifying my buddies of address changes, so I think I have my bases covered for now.

Now to the sad part... I have been a member since August 1997 (I found out today the exact time). I have put up with their incompetence with support, their promises of changes, and their assurances of good things happening, and stayed because it was easier to stay than leave, or so I thought. They have neglected to address issues that I have raised with them, and always point the finger away from themselves. It's never them, never their problems, never their issues. I am no longer their problem or concern.
Just one more that left AOL,
Auntie Lyn


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Blessings for Thanksgiving

Wow, where did the year go? It is amazing that it is already Thanksgiving, which as we all know, means Christmas is just around the corner. And all those shopping days that I think are available, aren't!

Kelly knows that something good is going on today. The house just smells toooo gooood. I am heading out to my sisters with the turkey and dressing about 1:30, and mom and daddy are bringing pie, Bob's Aunt Anna and Norm are bringing vegetables, DiAnna is making ham and potatoes, and Molly and Bruce (my oldest nephew and wife) are bringing appetizer and some vegs. My nephew Steve and his family will be there for dinner after all, their plans with her family got changed, and my niece Dee and her family will join us for dessert later in the evening after going to her in-laws to eat. I will get some pictures of before and after and post them on here later. For now... gota get busy and out of here.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Over at Saving Sanity's new home, Cat has published a list of those of us who have migrated from AOL to seek higher ground. There are 62 new addresses on that list so far. If you don't see your new home, or someone elses that you are aware of, please let her know. This could become something pretty impressive to pass along to the AOL god's. Plus, it is a pretty good way of keeping track of the migration.


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Because of You

What child growing up in the '50's and '60's did not at times awaken from sleep to the sounds of their parents fighting and yelling? In my case my daddy was threatening to leave and mommy would be telling him to go ahead, that we'd all be better off without him. Or sometimes I would come in from playing that evening and the arguing would still going on from that morning. When the arguing was over, mommy would tell me that it was just a threat, that daddy's and mom's say things that they don't really mean. I swore to myself that it would not happen in my family when I had one. I knew that I never wanted to feel that fear again... of going to school and not knowing if daddy would come home from work that night.

When Bob and I got married, his parents were more or less like mine as far as the arguing, but in his case, they would quit speaking to each other for weeks at a time. The first thing he told me as we got to know each other was that he never wanted to get so mad that we couldn't talk. I made him a promise that night that I would never do that to him. A few months into our marriage, things were tight money wise, and Bob had just been laid off his job. Tension was high, and an argument began. His words as he stormed out of the kitchen were ::"I'm getting the hell out of here!":: Everything stopped for that moment, and I told him of my fears when I was a child, of never knowing if my daddy would leave or not, of all the threats. He promised me that day, that he would never threaten anything he was not ready to finish. And he never did again.

I love my parents dearly, and even though I wouldn't have bet on it, they are still together after 62 years of marriage. The arguments have more or less stopped, instead they pick on each other. But every once in a while, my daddy has said, "I going to get the hell out of there and leave your mother." The last time he said it was a few years ago, and I finally told him how I felt as a child and how frightened I was. Then I told him, I don't ever want to hear it again! And I haven't. Now when they pick on each other, he just looks at me and winks.
All this was brought about by this song by Kelly Clarkson -- Because of You.

Because Of You
By Kelly Clarkson
CodesAndLyrics.com

Continuing the Saturday 6 tradition

Over at Patrick's Weekender, our friend Patrick (formerly of AOL J-land community) is continuing the Saturday Six tradition! It has been ages since I played any journal games, but I am eager to get back into things. Thanks Patrick for keeping J-land connected with each other. Here's my answers:

1. What was the last movie you watched at a theater completely alone? Would you have enjoyed it more or less if you had gone with someone to see it?
Never. I don't recall ever going to a movie theater alone. Matter of fact, it's been so long since I went to a theater, I'm not sure I would even know how to act.

2. What was the last non-sexual thing you did around the house completely naked?
Cleaned the bathroom.

3. How well do you know your neighbors? Would you like to know them better or not know them?
Living in a country setting, the neighbors aren't too awfully close, but I know that they're there. The neighbors to my left, just recently moved in, and I believe they are turning the place into a commune of some sort. Not just family, but many friends staying, lots of partying, and very secretive. They have cut down just about every tree since they moved there. My neighbor to the right, I know pretty well. That is until she lost her husband about 9 months ago. Her children did not think she should be there alone, and her son moved her grandson (age 23) and his girlfriend and their dogs into the home with her. Now it appears that it has turned to Redneck haven. Several super large 4 wheel drive trucks in various levels of disrepair dotting the yard, loud music until all hours of the night, squealing tires as they leave the driveway, and a beware of the dog slash owner (with a picture of a large gun pointed at you) sign on the chained gate. Poor Opal, I don't know how she is making it.

And for my second part of my answer... NO! I do not want to get to know them any better!

4. Take this quiz: How much of a conspiracy nut are you?
38% You are a little bit of a conspiracy nut. You know about the big conspiracies - but it doesn't take up too much of your time. You have accepted that people lie, and get away with everything - so you don't dwell on the loch ness monster too often.

5. Of the following "conspiracies" mentioned in that quiz, which single one would you most like the "truth" about and why?
I don't trust big pharmaceutical companies. Working in the medical profession for so many years has made me very suspicious of drugs, drug companies, and our physician's total reliance on them and what the drug companies are telling them.

6. If you had to create a slogan that defined your life, what would it be?
::LIFE:: It's what lies in the middle that counts! ::DEATH::

One more thought...

I am so very sorry that AOL just doesn't seem to get it.

It's not only the advertisements. It's not even the dysfunction. For me it's that after all these years (1996) I just don't matter any longer. My loyalty to a company who has had their share of problems, who have placated me with assurances of improved and better, have fallen so short of their promises. Like many other large corporations in this world, their answer seems to be, "like it or leave it, no skin off our nose". They are telling me that I am only a small pebble that makes up their mountain, but what they don't seem to understand is that it takes many of us pebbles to make that mountain.

They are proving to me that I don't matter. They are telling me that all of us who pay AOL for service, don't really matter. They own the space, and they apparently feel that it is their right to decorate it how ever they want to, and as a renter, I have to put up with it or leave.

For many years, I leased a vehicle. Thank God that Ford Motor Corporation did not adopt AOL's point of view, or I would have been driving a banner that flashed, "Ford -- Built for the Road Ahead" or some other crap. As it is, I do not leave the dealer advertisement on my vehicle when I purchase one. I request that the dealers name/plate be removed, and if it leaves any hole where it has been riveted on, I will not accept the car and will go to another dealer.

By not responding to my emails, or my comments, or my calls, AOL is saying to me... "Go ahead and complain Auntie Lyn, you don't matter! Leave if you don't like it! You will not be missed! There are 10 more Auntie Lyn's out there to take your place." I know where I'm not wanted or needed, so... So long guys!

Hope you choke on your precious ads, and the disrespect you have treated the whole J-land community with sits like a knot in your gut.
This Auntie is out of here!

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11/19/05 One more thought

Saturday, November 19, 2005

One more thought

I am so very sorry that AOL just doesn't seem to get it.

It's not only the advertisements. It's not even the dysfunction. For me it's that after all these years (1996) I just don't matter any longer. My loyalty to a company who has had their share of problems, who have placated me with assurances of improved and better, have fallen so short of their promises. Like many other large corporations in this world, their answer seems to be, "like it or leave it, no skin off our nose". They are telling me that I am only a small pebble that makes up their mountain, but what they don't seem to understand is that it takes many of us pebbles to make that mountain.

They are proving to me that I don't matter. They are telling me that all of us who pay AOL for service, don't really matter. They own the space, and they apparently feel that it is their right to decorate it how ever they want to, and as a renter, I have to put up with it or leave.

For many years, I leased a vehicle. Thank God that Ford Motor Corporation did not adopt AOL's point of view, or I would have been driving a banner that flashed, "Ford -- Built for the Road Ahead" or some other crap. As it is, I do not leave the dealer advertisement on my vehicle when I purchase one. I request that the dealers name/plate be removed, and if it leaves any hole where it has been riveted on, I will not accept the car and will go to another dealer.

By not responding to my emails, or my comments, or my calls, AOL is saying to me... "Go ahead and complain Auntie Lyn, you don't matter! Leave if you don't like it! You will not be missed! There are 10 more Auntie Lyn's out there to take your place." I know where I'm not wanted or needed, so... So long guys!

Hope you choke on your precious ads, and the disrespect you have treated the whole J-land community with sits like a knot in your gut.
This Auntie is out of here!

I am posting this to my new home...
lynda's lullaby 2


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lab2401 at 10:33:00 AM EST Link to this entry

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Lyn, wonderfully written!
Hugs,
V
Comment from deabvt - 11/20/05 11:49 AM

AOL may own the space (or more specifically, the software and the servers that make the space available to you at a premium price) but they do not own your thoughts, your ideas, your words--and that is what makes the space valuable and saleable to advertisers. I question whether it is even legal for AOL to sell those things (because that's what they are doing) without your agreement. Since they are not paying you for them, I don't see how they can be their property to sell.
Comment from elleme2 - 11/19/05 4:13 PM


It couldn't have been said better, Auntie Lyn.

For many of us, it's not the ads alone that is the problem; it's the long string of straws they've hurled at us, and it just so happens that the ads happen to be -- literally -- the last one.

Patrick
http://patricks-place.blogspot.com/
Comment from pattboy92 - 11/19/05 4:10 PM

Well said.

Peace, Virginia
Comment from ecori - 11/19/05 11:10 AM

Work Rant

WORK::
Work has been trying at best. I can remember when I thought that getting home care onto computers would be the answer to all our problems ... but now I'm having other thoughts since it finally happened. Why is it that just because we are on the computers and they discovered that they can get more detailed information, that now all of a sudden it's necessary to have every little nit picking bit?!? And God forbid if you don't have every piece in place with every i dotted and every t crossed almost as soon as the visit is completed!

When you are seeing a patient at home, and there is a nurse, a home health aid, a physical therapist, an occupational therapist, and a speech therapist, and you all make a visit on the same day, why please tell me why, do each of us have to take vitals???? And now that we are all paperless, lets get a few extra forms in just in case we may need them later. How many places do you need to write down that the patient performed this and that exercise for this many times and this many reps with this tolerance to activity. The main note is not enough, no... add an outcome note, and an intervention note to include the same information. Lets get it in there at least 3 different places! You never know when someone is going to ask for something else. They can't even make up their minds what they want from 1 week to the next. It's enough to make this Auntie cry!

Enough of work! It's Friday night, and I am battling a cold. First time I have tried Cold-Eeze, and AirBorne and I believe I feel better tonight than I did earlier today. Hopefully it will cut down on the number of days of feeling yucky.

Just heard on the news that tropical storm Gamma is headed for south Florida! Lets hope it stays a TS and doesn't turn into another hurricane, and that it hits some cooler air and falls apart. I think there have been more than enough hurricanes the past 2 years!

Well, enough for tonight, time to call it a day. Wish that AOL would finally get their act together and give us what we pay for. Oh well, guess I better get used to all this.

Nite all, Auntie Lyn

11/16/05 Coporate Greed

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Corporate Greed

Wouldn't you know, I get the urge and AOL shows their ass!
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lab2401 at 12:11:00 AM EST Link to this entry

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AMEN!
Comment from sherm197 - 11/16/05 11:23 AM

11/16/05 Coporate Greed

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Corporate Greed

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Moving Day

Today is moving day from AO-Hel-L. I would imagine there is all sorts of rumblings in the woodwork today. I finally make a effort to update my journal over there and they throw a monkey wrench into the picture. What the hell is up with the advertisements on the top of the journals?? As if we don't already pay enough for our service with them, then they are lusting for more from the advertisers! Looking better and better to leave AOL for good come the end of the year. Just too many hassles with too few benefits to stay. Well, I will organize my thoughts and attempt to journal competently later. Thanks AOL! just give me time to get my stuff together and I will be gone.

11/15/05 How to go about it

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

How to go about it

Feeling the need to begin this journal again. I continue to read some of my favorites, but have not had the inclination to write in so many, many months. For some reason, I feel a push today.

Life has been quiet since my last post. I have slowly adjusted to not running to be at the nursing home 3 or 4 days a week now. I miss Sadie, but would not wish her back for all the tea in China. I am slowly getting her stuff sorted, and will send her personal stuff to her niece. It has taken me a while to get the task done.

"All the tea in China"... I wonder how that little saying got started? It reminds me of the many sayings and rhymes I have picked up from my grandmother and my mother. Things like these - "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride."; and "Everyone to their own taste, said the old lady as she kissed the cow."; and "Everyone is crazy except Thee and Me, and sometimes I have my doubts about Thee!". I have some really wild rhymes and ditty's from my mother-in-law, but most of those are pretty rank. She was never known to hold back, when a thought hit her brain, her mouth opened and out it popped. Things like the poem below would just roll out of her.
"O my gosh almighty!
A mouse crawled up my nighty!
He bit my tit, and made me shit,
No wonder I'm so flighty!"

I think I am going to make a point of writing them all down when I think of them. There is one that rhymes with pink pink, and every time I hear the word pink it pops into my head. Bob was good at song parody. There are a few songs that when the music starts, his words come into my head and not the real words of the song. "Out in the west Texas town of El Paso, ..." Better not go there.

Well, enough garbage for now.


Cute little porcupine babies only a mother could love...



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