What child growing up in the '50's and '60's did not at times awaken from sleep to the sounds of their parents fighting and yelling? In my case my daddy was threatening to leave and mommy would be telling him to go ahead, that we'd all be better off without him. Or sometimes I would come in from playing that evening and the arguing would still going on from that morning. When the arguing was over, mommy would tell me that it was just a threat, that daddy's and mom's say things that they don't really mean. I swore to myself that it would not happen in my family when I had one. I knew that I never wanted to feel that fear again... of going to school and not knowing if daddy would come home from work that night.
When Bob and I got married, his parents were more or less like mine as far as the arguing, but in his case, they would quit speaking to each other for weeks at a time. The first thing he told me as we got to know each other was that he never wanted to get so mad that we couldn't talk. I made him a promise that night that I would never do that to him. A few months into our marriage, things were tight money wise, and Bob had just been laid off his job. Tension was high, and an argument began. His words as he stormed out of the kitchen were ::"I'm getting the hell out of here!":: Everything stopped for that moment, and I told him of my fears when I was a child, of never knowing if my daddy would leave or not, of all the threats. He promised me that day, that he would never threaten anything he was not ready to finish. And he never did again.
I love my parents dearly, and even though I wouldn't have bet on it, they are still together after 62 years of marriage. The arguments have more or less stopped, instead they pick on each other. But every once in a while, my daddy has said, "I going to get the hell out of there and leave your mother." The last time he said it was a few years ago, and I finally told him how I felt as a child and how frightened I was. Then I told him, I don't ever want to hear it again! And I haven't. Now when they pick on each other, he just looks at me and winks.
All this was brought about by this song by Kelly Clarkson -- Because of You.
When Bob and I got married, his parents were more or less like mine as far as the arguing, but in his case, they would quit speaking to each other for weeks at a time. The first thing he told me as we got to know each other was that he never wanted to get so mad that we couldn't talk. I made him a promise that night that I would never do that to him. A few months into our marriage, things were tight money wise, and Bob had just been laid off his job. Tension was high, and an argument began. His words as he stormed out of the kitchen were ::"I'm getting the hell out of here!":: Everything stopped for that moment, and I told him of my fears when I was a child, of never knowing if my daddy would leave or not, of all the threats. He promised me that day, that he would never threaten anything he was not ready to finish. And he never did again.
I love my parents dearly, and even though I wouldn't have bet on it, they are still together after 62 years of marriage. The arguments have more or less stopped, instead they pick on each other. But every once in a while, my daddy has said, "I going to get the hell out of there and leave your mother." The last time he said it was a few years ago, and I finally told him how I felt as a child and how frightened I was. Then I told him, I don't ever want to hear it again! And I haven't. Now when they pick on each other, he just looks at me and winks.
All this was brought about by this song by Kelly Clarkson -- Because of You.
3 comments:
This entry moved me deeply... So much so that I really don't have the proper words here to express it... Your entry has made me look over my past and see some of things that have shaped my life... I'm glad you and Bob overcame the mistakes your parents made... I hope I can do the same in my own life...
Hi Lynn
yeah, my parents fought with each other every day of their marriage. As a grown up woman I get a pain in the pit of my stomach when I think about how miserarble it would be to be in that kind of marriage. This is a very poignant entry here...one I understand very well.
Be well nice lady.
Always, Carly
http://ellipsissuddenlycarly.blogspot.com
Beautiful entry.
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